Well, this is my first blog ever! So I guess I'm a blogging virgin. I'm not sure what blogging will mean to me, but as I wrote that, I felt this sudden fear awaken in me that by signing up I've just permitted my computer camera to suddenly engage and to record me while I blog. I don't even know if my computer has a camera. I don't see a lens, but this large silver Dell logo looks suspicious. Does this mean I'll have to do my hair and make-up before I approach the computer? I use the computer so I don't have to actually see people which would require me to shower and get dressed. It just hit me that maybe this is why I've gained a little weight recently! Ooo, I wonder if the computer camera adds ten pounds. I might kick it. I wonder if I should be sipping this glass of wine while on camera. Or while blogging.
I should get out more.
And I'm hoping this blog will help motivate me to record more of my experiences if for nothing else than to remind me that I do, on occasion, get out of the house and have a life independent from my kids. In fact, they're the ones pushing me to get a life outside of theirs. It's not as easy as it seems to switch from all about them to something about me. I've spent so much time ignoring me that I'm afraid to look and see who I've become. It's that weight thing again. And that aging thing. And that disappearing thing. This is the biggest reason I'm afraid of this computer camera. But as I think and type that, it really pisses me off! I'm more than a mom. More than a middle aged, slightly overweight, hair-thinning mom. I am me. And I'm going in search of me. And I'm going to find me.
But if I first find a copy of me typing a blog on you tube, I'm going in search of you.
Until I have something to say...
Tina
